Blog & Vlog

Breaking Negative Ties – it’s hard, but good

I was mixing with the wrong crowd at school, and my mother wanted to break us up. What she didn’t realize was, that the other kids’ parents viewed me as the bad influence, and they were right. I was always looking for adventure, or as adults referred to it, “trouble”. My own kids don’t stand a chance. If there was a second storey window around, I had to jump from it. Sometimes onto a gym mat, sometimes into a nearby tree. If there was a silo around I had to climb it. And guess what? It started a trend. The other kids’ parents were spot on. I was TROUBLE. But somewhere along the line, I eventually grounded myself. I realized there was more to life than just risking it. At this turning point, I was much older, and much more responsible. I came across new friends and new influences. There were a whole new set of risks that didn’t involve the chance of a broken bone, but a chance of a broken life, or a broken mind. I chose to stay away from these influences and I’m glad I did. However it came at the cost of relationships and friendships. The question is, “how do you break away from these negative influences, when the people you are breaking away from are those you respect and sometimes even love?” About eight years ago I went to a massive conference and heard some of the greatest speakers in the Western world. One lady who spoke, mentioned the necessity of breaking from the negative people in one’s life. Sometimes she said, even family. ”absurd” I remember thinking. How can you do that? I was skeptical to say the least. But she went on to say that it is the single most difficult thing to do, and the most necessary. It has stuck with me all this time. To be happy in this life you have to surround yourself with positivity. The whingers and whiners will pull you down. Just as I lead a bunch of kids towards the chance of a broken bone (or worse), people can lead you to negative thoughts and practices. The hard thing is to say goodbye and move on. Another difficult thing, is to realize that, (as my mother didn’t about me all those years ago,) you may be the problem. You may have worn out your welcome. The people around you may have lost the value in having you around. Don’t sweat it. Move on. Believe me, you will feel 100% better once you have. There are new people out there with similar interests, similar values and better views of this world. They are the ones to hang onto. Your immediate family will always be the most important element in your life, followed by the people who catch you when you fall and who know you will catch them when they fall. You won’t even need a gym mat! Here are some clues to get out of the relationships that are causing negativity.
A) they moan more than they compliment
B) they hold a grudge
C) they put themselves and others down
These are the types of people who no matter how good a restaurant is they have to send the food back. They make comments under their breath about a waitress who spills a bit of coffee. In short, they can only see the bad out there, and not the good. Dont worry about how to have this “break up”. Nothing formal really happens, you simply drift apart. The trick is to acknowledge the drifting, and like it. Its called moving on. Just remember what the purpose of this life is. Yours may be different to mine, but I see it as an opportunity to help others, have fun and be happy. Simple, but nice. My belief in life: he who laughs the most before he dies, wins. Hard to do that if there’s negativity around.